I went for a barefoot walk this evening. Normally when I walk barefoot, I stick to sidewalks or to grassy areas, but I haven’t walked on the trail by our house in weeks. I was a little concerned that the mulched path would be a bit too rough for my feet but the first couple steps were divinely soft. The mulch at the edge of the path had broken down into a fine dirt after many feet, paws and bikes traveled over it. Traveling further in there were some larger pieces so I had to choose my steps carefully. My movements were slower and more deliberate, so I was able to more fully appreciate the beauty around me – like the sun beginning to set through the trees.
So often we think of challenges in life – the things that wear us down and make us feel broken – as somehow diminishing our worth and wellbeing but what if look at those challenges as something that softens our rough edges.
I have struggled with varying levels of anxiety my whole life. Going into a new place where I don’t know what to expect or what is expected of me always fills me with dread. I am not likely to dive into something new without giving it a lot of thought and doing as much research as possible. At times I have missed opportunities because I was afraid to act. At these times my anxiety is frustrating and I wish I could be rid of it.
Living with anxiety has not been easy but just like the rough patches in the mulch it forced me to slow down and observe the world around me. This has allowed me to be more aware of the needs of others and be more empathetic. It is a challenge I will likely carry with me my whole life but it is also a part of what has made me who I am today and for that I can only be grateful.