May 2022 – Musings and Meditations

This is a reflection I wrote after praying the scripture John 14:23–29. If you would like to read the scripture, you can find here: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+14%3A23%E2%80%9329&version=NRSVUE

You may notice some differences between the scripture and the reflection. Praying scripture is an invitation to be inspired by the scripture and see where it takes you. If you would like to know more about praying scripture you can email me at lleffler@live.ca .

“Those who love me will keep my word, and my Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.”

God knows I try to follow Jesus and keep is word, but I have made so many mistakes in the past. I denied knowing him – not once but three times. I was among the disciples when we doubted Jesus could feed all the people gathered and when we tried to keep the children from approaching Jesus – tried to keep them in what we thought was their proper place. And how could I ever forget the time I sank into the lake because I lost faith in Jesus’s ability to walk on water – the other disciples certainly won’t let me forget it. “Hey Peter, why don’t you go for a walk – you could use a bath!” “Hey Peter, does Jesus call you the rock because you sink like a stone?” Like I need them reminding me of my doubts. I have enough of those on my own. I have made so many mistakes in the past – misinterpreted what Jesus wanted so many times and now he is telling us that he is no longer going to be here in person to guide me back.

I am NOT ready for this!

How could Jesus leave me? I still have so much to learn! He tells us, “Do not let your hearts be troubled” but how can they not be? I dropped everything and dedicated my whole life to following Jesus. How can I continue to do that if he is not there to follow? How am I supposed to know what is the Holy Spirit guiding me and what are my own thoughts and desires? What if I get it so wrong that I become one of those people who “do not keep [Jesus’s] words?

Okay, I am spiraling. I need to relax. Jesus must know what he is doing. If he believes I am ready to go out on my own I can do this…I can do this. I just need to learn to listen to the Spirit guiding me from within…

This is a reflection I wrote after praying the scripture Luke 19:1-10. If you would like to read the scripture about Zacchaeus, you can find here: h ttps://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+19%3A1-10&version=NRSVA

I don’t know if I should be here. No one in town seems to like me very much. Well really, who would like the tax collector?

But what else was I supposed to do. I am too small to work in the fields and I don’t have any skills. I wasn’t born into wealth so I can’t just be some rich landowner telling everyone what else what to do.

If I take a little bit extra now and then, it is only so future generations of my family won’t face the same struggle. What’s the big deal? Everybody does it!

But this man, this Jesus guy, I have to hear him – have to see him. I hear his work is life changing… and my life needs changing.

I am sick of being invisible in this town. The only time anyone looks at me is when I am working – and then it is only with looks of disgust. I just want to be seen… to be known! Maybe this Jesus guy can help me with that.

But how will I see him over this crowd? No one is going to let me through to the front – even though they could see over me (I guess I’m not the only one who is selfish!)

I know! I will climb this tree!

There he is! I see him coming. I can see so much from up here. He’s coming this way! He is stopping. Something big is about to happen.

“Zacchaeus, come down immediately! I must stay in your house today.”

Zacchaeus? That’s me! He’s talking to me! He sees me!