God you are my salvation…
…you saved me…
…but why?
…for what purpose?
You sent angels to save me at my darkest moment.
You called me to choose life.
But what kind of life?
Am I any further ahead now than I was then?
I am still lost.
I still feel alone.
I am still bound and trapped.
Struggling to break free.
Working so hard to drag myself forward
even just the tiniest step,
Just to be knocked back again.
You promised me a burden I could bear…
…not one I could barely lift.
I follow you blindly
down the paths you call me to
only to find myself lost and alone
facing another dead end.
I thought following you meant I didn’t have to do this alone!
Why do you continue to lead me down false paths?
Why does every lesson I learn have to be so hard?
Why do you ask me to open myself up
just so I can acquire new scars?
I am not sure how much more of this I can take!
For the original Psalm visit https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+88&version=NRSV